The “Spare the Spare” Debate — A Traumatic Royal Decision Revisited

September 6, 2025: In his memoir Spare, Prince Harry recounts the weight of being asked to walk behind his mother, Princess Diana’s coffin at just 12 years old—an invitation he initially feared he would be spared from.

“Spare the Spare” — A Proposal That Stirred Conflict

Ahead of the funeral procession, there was heated debate among the royals and their aides. Their uncle, Charles Spencer, vocally opposed the idea, calling it “barbaric” to have two young boys participate in such a solemn, public moment. An alternative was floated—that only the older brother, Prince William, would walk, while Harry, the “spare,” could be excused. This notion was dubbed “Spare the Spare.” Yet, that plan was rejected. Decision-makers determined that both brothers needed to participate, reportedly to garner public sympathy. Despite the emotional cost, Harry admitted he didn’t resent the choice — he didn’t want his brother to face the ordeal alone.

A Walk Buried in Numbness

On that day in September 1997, Harry and William walked behind their mother’s coffin, flanked by their father, grandfather, and uncle. Harry describes feeling numb, eyes fixed to the pavement, fists clenched, drawing emotional strength from William’s presence. The silence of the massive crowd felt surreal—apart from the horses’ carriage, there were no sounds, no voices—just a haunting stillness pierced by the occasional wail.

A Glimpse into Unspoken Emotions

Harry later reflected that no child should be asked to carry such a public burden. While service and duty were paramount in royal life, this moment blurred the lines between ceremony and personal tragedy—a memory he revisits with painful clarity.