Divorce is a difficult and stressful experience for the entire family, not only spouses. This is the time when all the marriage possessions should be split in two with the people splitting. 

There are various situations that can occur in these moments. Some of them are when one spouse wants everything for themselves, the other possibility is that one of the spouses does not want anything that is earned during the marriage, and there is one more when they equally split all the mutually earned belongings. If this is not a part of the spouse agreement, multiple conflicts can break through and make the divorcing situation even worse. Aside from the emotional, physical parting, if there are children, the parting of parents can cause extreme emotional traumas. Here are some tips on how to go through a divorce in a calm way. 

It is OK

Beware, it is OK to have different feelings. It is normal to have them mixed and to have intervals of sadness, angry attacks, frustration, and to be exhausted. These emotions are part of the process. You must understand that these emotional periods will eventually come to the end and that your reactions will lessen with time. It is the initial reaction to the separation from the person you have feelings for and the initial reaction of separation. It is not that all of these emotions will turn off when you finally separate, it is that you will get used to the new situation. So, any kind of emotional response is OK. Do not suppress it all, let it out, and breathe. 

Take Care of Yourself

When you are going through a divorce, you usually have the feeling it is all your fault. Well, the truth is a bit different. It is a shared responsibility. There should not be an individual to blame. So, do not punish yourself for the marriage failing. Take care of yourself both mentally and physically. You should eat well, work out, read books, hang out with people, and live a normal life. The divorce process must not affect your living habits. If you let it do so, it would be much more difficult for you to come back on track. 

Do not Go Through This Alone 

It is common sense for people divorcing to isolate themselves during the process. This is not the solution. You cannot just cut off all the people around you and divide them into his/her people. It is extremely important to have someone to share your concerns with and to occasionally let things out. Sharing your feelings and thoughts can lessen the pain you feel, and help you out to go through this period. If you isolate yourself, this can have a negative reflection on your health due to the increased stress level.

Asset Division 

Besides separation, asset division is one of the most stressful parts of a divorce. You can never guess how your partner will feel about it. However, there is a law controlling this part of the process. How your asset is divided, who is responsible for debt during a divorce, what you do about the rents is decided either between spouses or in the court. There are also terms like Separate and Marital property. Separate property is the one earned before the marriage itself and this one cannot be divided, it is the individual property of one of the spouses. However, Marital property is divided between spouses equally based on the current currency level. What you should keep in mind is not only to divide the property in the way to finish the process painlessly but to ensure your finances after separation and to help you out easily move on. 

orange scissors and roses cutting a marriage lisece in half

Do Not Go Through Arguments with Your Spouse or Ex-Spouse 

It was enough. Do not go through the additional struggles and awkward situations where you will feel even worse and emotionally shaken. Try to avoid the situations where you go through the reasons of your marriage failing all over again. This is not a solution to anything. 

New tough words and arguments are for no good, this only deepens the abyss between you two. In the end, if you have children, you should maintain at least normal contact, if you do not want your children to suffer. 

Divorce is always a difficult period. After it, your life gets a new stream and a new flow. You must be mentally and emotionally stronger than usual if you want to go through this with less pain. Just make sure to take care of yourself as well, not only your surroundings. In the end, you are the one going through it. 

Published on Holr Magazine