Having a partner for your needs during a time of being home constantly is simply human nature. The winter season’s are also known as “cuffing season”, the time of year that’s beautiful and cold, of snuggling in pajamas, with a warm drink with seasonal company.  Some similar situation is happening during this pandemic, staying safe at home while being allowed company, but limited company, can have people finding themselves in situations that are lasting a bit longer than seasonal. When something goes on this long and without many outlets and options, it can be difficult to understand whether or not it’s a thing of just comfort/habit from being in a certain situation for so long. This is often referred to as a ‘situationship‘, involving repressed and untapped emotions that can surface in unkind actions. 

A ‘situationship’ is a situation of one or more people being in some form of a relationship with another person because of circumstances rather than desire, passion, and choice. Because of this, people can confuse the complacency of comfort and familiarity, others foresee this situation, they fear getting into that position and go extents to avoid it. A recent study conducted by Hinge Labs, found that one in three singles have been in a situationship over the past year, yet 75% are looking for a real relationship.

For starters, let’s clarify the importance of communication as a form of respect to other people. With relationships, communication, no matter how hard, is always the best way to go. Honest, open communication does not only allow both parties to leave feeling respected in the long run, but it is a short term pain rather than creating a long term grudge when the truth eventually comes to the surface.

During the pandemic, many people had time (a lot of it) to reflect on past and current situations, which created a common solution for ‘situationships’, “Hardballing”. Hardballing is the act of being blunt and honest from the beginning about intentions, wants, needs, and desires. People are looking towards what they want, giving light to what’s important, and seizing the moment, creating more honest people in the dating world.

holding hands as a respectful parting of romantic ways

Being honest about what you want in relationships can still be difficult, especially when your partner is hoping and wanting for something different. Head relationship scientist at Hinge Logan Ury has offered some tips on how to hardball.

What are some characteristics or actions of hard balling?

Hard balling daters are clear and direct about what they want.

What are ways you can gain the confidence to hard ball and treat dating this way?

First, you should check in with yourself about what you want out of a relationship. Do you know what you’re looking for? Is it something serious or casual? Once you’re sure of your expectations, this will allow you to communicate them with a potential partner clearly.

Then be upfront about what you’re looking for on your profile. This will help you turn the right people on and turn the wrong people off.

What’s the best way to communicate with someone who is hard balling you?

If someone is hard balling you, you should listen to what they’re communicating and respect their expectations. After they let you know what kind of relationship they’re looking for, decide for yourself if you’re on the same page. If your relationship visions are aligned, that’s great. If not, you should be honest and let them know. Don’t waste time trying to change their mind, and don’t present yourself as ready for something — whether that’s serious or casual — that you’re not.

Most often time’s, it’s not why we leave relationships but the way that we leave them which resonates poorly and breaks hearts deeply. Being honest about your intentions and wants, is not only a sign of respect to oneself but also towards the other person. Hardballing may be difficult at first, but rip off the band aid, be vulnerable and honest, and you’re doing what’s best for you and the other.

Published on Holr Magazine

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