Loving yourself should be something you do on a daily basis. That little sweet treat? That’s self-love. That coffee you buy that makes you smile when you sip it? That’s self-love. Loving yourself is all about doing things that make you happy, from a walk in the local park when the spring flowers bloom, to sex – whether with someone else or totally solo.
Sex is something that we use to express feelings and intentions with a companion or a partner. An issue that often comes up during counseling is the desire to have a better connection. For those in long term relationships, intimacy can start to fade over time, and that’s natural, but loving yourself is how you get back to a space where you WANT intimacy with others.
If you can’t be intimately connected to who you are, can you really intimately connect to another? Probably not. If you’re not yet in a relationship, there are things that you could be doing to improve your sex life by yourself. From exploring your own body to exploring toys, there are things that you can do to get the results that you want and feel like you are more connected. With that in mind let’s take a look at some tips that you need for exploration of self-love, so that you no longer have to question whether you love yourself enough for intimacy.
1. Start with your own self. Before you can really be comfortable getting jiggy with someone new, you really have to be confident and comfortable with yourself. Do you feel guilty when you treat yourself? Do you feel bad when you take time for yourself? These are things you have to explore because how can you confidently be with someone else if you can’t confidently love you?
2. Consider what your fantasies are. Rolling in a pit of money? Feeling happy at your job? You can explore your fantasies by thinking about them, watching videos, reading about them, and more and they don’t have to be all about sex, either. They don’t have to be things that you want to explore in real life, just things that pique your interest when you’re by yourself.
3. Learn to relax. You are going to feel so much happier and more secure in loving yourself when you learn to let go of the opinions of others, the wishes of others and lean into what you want for yourself. When it comes to sex, especially, muscle relaxation and deep breathing can strengthen your pelvic floor and reduce your tension overall.
4. Looking after yourself. A good way to explore self-love is to make sure that you feel physically good about who you are. That means looking after your nutrition and your exercise levels, so that you feel healthy and confident. It’s so important that you are looking into making sure that you are connecting to your sex drive and intimacy levels to really explore what makes you tick.
Self-love can be a game changer in your life, because when you learn to love yourself, you are better placed to love others.
Published by HOLR Magazine.