Being a mother isn’t easy. News flash, it never has been. However, in 2022 it is fair to state that it is now easier to successfully be a new mom and not at the cost of your career, relationship, or sanity.
If you are a new mom, there is no doubt a fair amount of craziness to your life right now, and you find yourself in a situation you’ve never been in and may well not have the support you require and the tools you need, in order to work and function as you’d like.
Firstly, relax. Take a step back and try to take in just how wonderful a step you have taken and even though you may well be coming to the realization that you are not the same person you once were, the truth is that you have changed for the better.
There are many ways to ease any lingering confusion and anxiety that you may be suffering, and while you are also no doubt bombarded by advice from all around, well-meaning advice for the most part, here are some tips that we think may help you to deal with what life is throwing at your right now.
Advice for New Moms
Ask for Help, But Learn How to Say No
Don’t think you can do it all yourself. Sure, you may manage just fine, but let’s be honest; help from any source can be a lifesaver. If your partner volunteers to take the baby out of the house for an hour or two, always take them up on the offer. Firstly it helps the two of them to bond, and secondly, it means you can take a break from it all.
You may now find yourself in a whole new circle of friends, all with the shared experience of being a mother. This is great on so many levels. It can help you when you just want to rant, and you will get some very useful advice, especially from those who have already been through it all.
However, and this is crucial, you don’t have to follow every piece of advice you get. Learn how to say no. There are going to be times when you’ll have competing opinions about everything from breastfeeding to sleep times and every possible illness on planet earth, and it can then descend into farce.
Take on board other people’s opinions if they are of use to you, but don’t feel under pressure to do anything that doesn’t feel right for you and your newborn.
Find Your Own Pace
We titled this piece ‘Have Your Cake AND Eat It: Why New Moms Can Do It All,’ but we don’t necessarily mean this in the sense of being able to cram everything into the 24 hours you have in your day (like everyone else).
Having a career AND a baby is possible and is easier now than ever before, though it clearly depends on your circumstances. Don’t feel the need to rush to an imaginary line in the sand or target you have set.
Take the time to enjoy the moment, even if that moment is dealing with having pee on your nice new dress. If you are a first-time mom, it’s practically impossible to know where you will be three, six, or nine months from now and whether you will be able to take on new challenges beyond the welfare of the beautiful baby staring across at you from the high chair.
Try now to enviously look at others and wonder why you are somehow lesser of a person because you never quite know what others are going through. Every individual deals with motherhood differently, and there is no one-size-fits-all system here.
Here we mean not just physically but mentally as well. Obviously, you may feel as if a train has hit you and the world is moving far too fast, leaving you less time to prepare a healthy series of meals.
You are probably, quite rightly, investing more of your energies into making sure your baby is well taken care of from a nutritional perspective, but it’s important to be on top of your own diet, as a healthy mom is the best mom your child can have.
With this in mind, don’t be afraid to get help. If you have a support system of friends and relatives, don’t feel guilty about leaning on them. If your mother is a great cook, let her come to your aid, as you are probably far too exhausted to get to work in the kitchen.
Also, this is when you need your partner to step up to the plate. Sure, maybe they aren’t used to cooking, but now they need to get their hands dirty.
Alternatively, you can look for outside assistance. Meal delivery services are a great way to help you in these trying times. Signing up with the best providers means you get deliciously prepared meals delivered, and the varieties available will keep you on your toes so that you once again start to enjoy meal times.
Rest When They Rest
This is perhaps the best advice you can get. Your dreams of getting an extended period of sleep, much like you enjoyed before you welcomed your child into this world, aren’t likely to come along any time soon.
That means you need to learn to adjust to the new normal. When your child sleeps, you sleep. This is the best chance you will get to get rest. If that means leaning on your partner to deal with other chores in these moments, then go ahead and do it.
Babies Cry and Get Sick
These two statements are clearly obvious, but when you are a new mom, you tend to worry a great deal, usually about nothing. A baby crying, especially in the early days of parenthood, may seem like a big deal and can leave you wondering what the problem is and what you can do to prevent it.
Babies cry for all sorts of reasons, and it’s just something you need to accept and try not to take it too heart. Similarly, your baby will get sick repeatedly, especially if your child is starting to associate with other children.
Don’t panic, and learn to trust your gut. You’ll soon learn when sickness is worthy of concern, which is likely to occur much more as they grow. Try not to self-diagnose, and avoid the internet for answers; if in doubt, talk to a doctor.
Published by HOLR Magazine.