Armie Hammer has finally spoken out in response to claims of misconduct, stating in his first interview since the incident that the negative publicity had him thinking about taking his own life.

Armie Hammer opens up for the first time since sexual misconduct allegations disrupted his life, career, and marriage in an interview with Air Mail, which was released on Friday evening.

Hammer addresses the allegations of sexual misconduct in-depth, denies any criminal wrongdoing while acknowledging that he was a self-centered “asshole” who exploited others and moved on, refutes a rape accusation by giving Kirchick direct messages from an accuser, and provides an update on his recovery.

Hammer reveals to Kirchick that his interest in BDSM and sexual power dynamics stems from childhood sexual assault at the hands of a youth pastor who reportedly molested him when he was 13 years old.

Additionally, in February 2021 in the Cayman Islands, he publicly expressed his intention to commit suicide by swimming as far out into the water as he could in the hopes of perishing in a tragic incident such as drowning, a shark attack, or a boat accident.

According to the article, Hammer told an elderly friend who has since passed away and her godmother Candace Garvey, who corroborated the story to Air Mail, about his plans.

Hammer stated, “I just walked out into the ocean and swam out as far as I could and hoped that either I drowned, or was hit by a boat, or eaten by a shark. Then I realized that my kids were still on shore and that I couldn’t do that to my kids.”

The ‘call me by your name‘ star, who has two children with ex-Elizabeth Chambers, Harper, 8, and Ford, 6, is the topic of an active LAPD investigation after being accused of rape by Effie. In January 2021, multiple women came forward with allegations of misconduct and messages containing BDSM fantasies and cannibalistic fetishism.

Following widespread media coverage his talent agency, WME, as well as his personal publicist, dropped him. He also left high-profile acting roles in films like Shotgun Wedding with Jennifer Lopez, Gaslit with Julia Roberts and Sean Penn, The Godfather-inspired Paramount+ series The Offer, and Taika Waititi’s Next Goal Wins.

Hammer claimed that the purported childhood trauma had a major impact on him:  “What that did for me was it introduced sexuality into my life in a way that it was completely out of my control. I was powerless in the situation. I had no agency in the situation.  Sexuality was introduced to me in a scary way where I had no control. My interests then went to: I want to have control in the situation, sexually.”

Hammer also addressed the allegations made by Courtney Vucekovich and Paige Lorenze, two women he had relationships. He commented, “I would have these younger women in their mid-20s, and I’m in my 30s,” bringing up the age difference in his ties with women like Courtney Vucekovich and Paige Lorenze, who are his alleged victims.

“I was a successful actor at the time. They could have been happy to just be with me and would have said yes to things that maybe they wouldn’t have said yes to on their own. That’s an imbalance of power in the situation.”

Strongly denying any criminal activity, the celebrity told the publication that he had abused prior partners emotionally. “I’m here to own my mistakes, take accountability for the fact that I was an a–hole, that I was selfish, that I used people to make me feel better, and when I was done, moved on,” Hammer added.

“I’m now a healthier, happier, more balanced person. I’m able to be there for my kids in a way I never was. I’m truly grateful for my life and my recovery and everything. I would not go back and undo everything that’s happened to me.”

Published by HOLR Magazine.